Confessions of A Bursary Student

Many may think that being a scholar is actually something to be proud of. And yes, I can't deny that it gives you a teeny bit of victorious feeling when you get to know that hey! I'm a scholar! I'm not sure if bursary students can be considered as scholars but our lecturers regard us as scholars so scholar it is!

I previously took A-Levels at Sunway College as a March intake student but when the bursary offer came along somewhere in between my course, I've made a big decision - to defer to July intake. I'm not quite sure what the main factor of me deferring was, but it was due to a few reasons. I found it not very easy (not exactly very hard, but not easy) to cope in the March intake classes because the teachers can finish one chapter in merely two days! (For now, my lecturers teach at a more human-like pace. *peace!*) Secondly, I wanna make more friends! Somehow I just couldn't click with my March intake classmates for reasons that I don't even know of. Maybe we're just on different wavelengths. I was pretty down in class because I could only talk to Xin Er and Harue. These two factors attracted me into deferring to July intake and so I went to the information centre and got my necessary forms filled up!

CLARIFICATION : Please do not misunderstand. Bursary students and normal students do mix with one another, it just depends on whether you want to or not. And the normal students do get the same lecturers as we do too! The college is not biased. Many people have asked me the same thing, so I thought I should insert it here. Thank you.

I have to thank KPM for offering me the bursary scheme because without it, I wouldn't even be able to experience this new learning environment. When I say new, I really mean totally new and strange. The differences between the March intake and July intake classes were so vast that I had a great shock of my life. I have never felt so pressurised before, not even a day before I sat for my first SPM paper. I don't know how this new experience is for the other bursary students, regardless of whether they're from my college or the other respective colleges, but for me, it was fuuuh! Mind-blowing! How can I put it. Let me give you an example. It's very competitive among my classmates or rather, among the whole of A-Levels, mainly among the bursary students. Not all of the students who were qualified for the bursary offer deferred to July intake though, some of them remained in either January or March intake. And they're super clever as well! T_T Anyway, ya, it's super competitive. Everyone's score is very close to one another's. In fact, the average mark of our class's first Math test was 27/30! Is that crazy or what? One of my classmates exclaimed after our second Math test, "If I don't get 28/30 imma kill myself!" *strangles him* D:

Classmates! + Mr. Randall behind. :P This was taken in the Physics Lab btw.

Everyone speak in intelligent languages, well, for my case, not really. :/ You can know that they're somewhat clever from the way they speak! I'm a relatively shy person, so I thought, I can't let myself be like this anymore. I have to start socialising! And again, thanks to KPM because I got to socialise more! The main reason is because we got to stay in Sunway Monash Residence (which is a very wonderful place with great facilities!) throughout our A-Levels course in Sunway College. Imagine all the bursary students staying in the same building, there has got to be some mingling around hasn't it! ;)

 Besides, I took the effort to try to enter ALSCO, which stands for A-Levels Student Council. I have always admired the Alsco members for their socialising skills ever since I was in the March intake! But I knew then that if I were to be a member of the student council, I would have to sacrifice my time and stay back for meetings. Too bad I stayed far away from the college so it would be troublesome (and dangerous!) for my mum to fetch me from college late at night. So I decided to pass! However, since I have a room in SMR now, I don't have to trouble my parents anymore! I didn't hesitate to fill up the application form and lucky enough, I was selected for the interview and am now a member! Before the interview, all of the applicants had to organise an A-Levels event and from there, the seniors and coordinator will evaluate us. My group organised a game event, called Last One Standing. For me, it was considered successful as we had only 2 days to prepare for it although we made very little profit. (Another reason was because our costs were too high!) Anyway it was a fun and memorable experience!

My ALSCO probational group! :)

The interview was pretty scary though, because the seniors had these masks on that resembled tigers. Okay, I'm exaggerating it. Haha. They were really strict during the interview but when they came out of the interview room, their smiles were back on their faces! They're actually very friendly. :) Oh we call them seniors but actually they're the same age as us. Haha because they had 6 months of experience in Alsco already that's why. :P I gained many good buddies through Alsco! I've not only made friends with bursary students from other classes but also non-bursary students who are super friendly and nice! Although it's only my first week being an official ALSCO member, the probational period taught me many things. I'm very grateful for that. Thank you! Oh gawd, I can go on babbling about this. :P

*edited : I've now retired from ALSCO and I must say that I've not regretted even a bit! How I wish I don't all the AS and A2 exams so that I can join ALSCO again...Oh ya btw, joining ALSCO is only for one semester (which is about 6 months) and you'll retire after that to let the juniors replace you because they want you to focus on your studies.

A big HI from ALSCO July '12 team! :D All of us were wearing our specially designed varsity jackets!

Photo credits to Juliana!

Ohhh the fun times....

Back to the stressful part, not only my classmates are competitive, another thing that accumulated my stress is the assignment! Sunway College put very high hopes on us and thus, we were drilled with lots and lots of assignments! Actually I think we're being trained to be robots. Or rather super machines. :/ Haha. But still I don't feel any smarter lah! XD And also because of all these, I have emotional breakdowns more often than before and I hate myself for this! :( I know I've hurt many people around me, especially the ones I love. I throw tantrums, I show black face and I remain silent whenever I'm with them. I'm so sorry. :( I think I still need some time to cope with this stress. T_T

I shall end this blog post soon. But before that, I want to thank KPM again! Let's hope I'll have a brighter future after this and become smarter. I don't want to be called stupid again. T_T T_T And thanks to all my lovelies who will always be by my side during my tough journey with A-Levels! :D Love you guys! <3 br="" nbsp="">